When a custody dispute reaches the point where a child may need to testify, it can be a stressful and emotional experience for both the child and their parents. In Virginia, a child’s testimony may play a role in custody decisions, particularly if the court believes that the child is mature enough to express their preferences and opinions and/or there are concerns about one parent’s alleged neglect and/or abuse.
If your child is going to testify at a custody hearing in the near future, there are ways that you can help them to prepare and to manage any stress that they may be feeling about this process. The following are a few tips that can help to get you started. Your legal team may also have more personalized guidance from which you and your child can benefit.
Keep your approach age-appropriate
It’s important to talk to your child about the custody hearing in a way that is appropriate for their age and level of understanding. Explain that the judge will want to hear their thoughts, but reassure them that the court will ultimately make decisions in their best interest. Avoid putting pressure on your child or making them feel like they have to choose between parents. Let them know that they are not responsible for the outcome.
For younger children, you might explain that they will talk to a judge about things like where they feel comfortable or what makes them happy. For older children or teenagers, you can be more specific about the legal process while still avoiding overwhelming them with details.
In many cases, the child will not testify in open court but may speak privately with the judge in a more relaxed setting, such as a judge’s chambers, so make sure that they’re prepared to be out of your line of sight, in case that may cause them anxiety.
Preparing them for the process itself is important. Yet, you’ll want to refrain from coaching them on what to say or making negative comments about their other parent. The court is meant to be focused on the child’s best interests, and it’s important that your child’s testimony reflects their genuine feelings, not influence from either parent.