No law states a divorce must be a highly contentious affair with yelling. In fact, most people would prefer a more civil option.
Fortunately, a collaborative approach to divorce offers a way for couples to settle their differences without the courtroom drama.
Mutually beneficial
We are all familiar with the traditional divorce model. Each spouse has their own attorney to litigate on their behalf. The goal is to “win” on key issues such as child custody, property division and alimony. Formal court hearings can last for months, costing spouses time and money.
A collaborative divorce is focused on both parties coming to a mutual agreement. Before the process begins, they both sign a contract stating neither will pursue litigation. While they both may have legal representation, other professionals can also be involved. Financial advisors and family therapists can offer assistance to guide the decision-making. If negotiations break down and the divorce needs to move to court, they must hire new attorneys, and the whole process starts fresh.
In Virginia, the average divorce costs over $11,000. If the couple can’t come to an agreement, the cost will be even higher. A collaborative divorce has its own costs, but by avoiding court fees and streamlining negotiations, couples can save money that is likely much needed elsewhere.
When anger and resentment take center stage, the divorce process begins to feel like a battle, leaving the spouses and their children emotionally exhausted. Collaborative divorces focus on open communication and mutual respect. When couples work together to meet each other’s needs and those of their children, everyone can start moving toward healing.
A collaborative divorce won’t work for everyone. Still, it is an excellent option for the couple ready to set aside their differences and focus on creating a win-win situation for everyone.